Energetically Challenged
No energy... Low energy...The Blah's.....
I wish I could read the paper, go to a movie during the day, watch TV a little....I can't. I don't know the language well enough.
I gave up a large home and garden to live in an apartment, he has always lived in apartments. He likes city life and I don't. I listen to all your advice and appreciate all the suggestions but what it boils down to is that....I am depressed. I don't want to do much of anything. This city is not a welcoming one and the people are not friendly towards strangers, so it is a bit more difficult that I first imagined. I go out on my own once in a while and feel no pleasure, so I just come home again. Part of me feels I just need to sit with this, think on my life, my situation and wait until my negativity passes.
My biggest problem is I feel alone. Last night my goal was to get a kiss from my husband, I got 4 pecks. We went to bed and he was exhausted and pretty much fell asleep. I told him how I was feeling and he said that when I say the same thing everyday, one day it's a kiss and the next a hug....All he hears is he is not good enough. I explained nicely that I mention it (I don't think everyday) because I am missing it and need it so. But to avoid a fight I went into the living room and put on a Disney movie to calm me and then I fell asleep.
He loves me I know. An lately I have been getting more resentful he says and venomous. I say things I shouldn't because I'm hurting and don't know how to get is attention. I don't know who else to tell but him. To his credit he did say he knows I am in pain and if he could take it away he would. I pray for myself, even though I am not a Christian and I pray for all the hurricane victims, one blew away my home when I was a child. I knew the power wind and rain can possess.
I wish I could read the paper, go to a movie during the day, watch TV a little....I can't. I don't know the language well enough.
I gave up a large home and garden to live in an apartment, he has always lived in apartments. He likes city life and I don't. I listen to all your advice and appreciate all the suggestions but what it boils down to is that....I am depressed. I don't want to do much of anything. This city is not a welcoming one and the people are not friendly towards strangers, so it is a bit more difficult that I first imagined. I go out on my own once in a while and feel no pleasure, so I just come home again. Part of me feels I just need to sit with this, think on my life, my situation and wait until my negativity passes.
My biggest problem is I feel alone. Last night my goal was to get a kiss from my husband, I got 4 pecks. We went to bed and he was exhausted and pretty much fell asleep. I told him how I was feeling and he said that when I say the same thing everyday, one day it's a kiss and the next a hug....All he hears is he is not good enough. I explained nicely that I mention it (I don't think everyday) because I am missing it and need it so. But to avoid a fight I went into the living room and put on a Disney movie to calm me and then I fell asleep.
He loves me I know. An lately I have been getting more resentful he says and venomous. I say things I shouldn't because I'm hurting and don't know how to get is attention. I don't know who else to tell but him. To his credit he did say he knows I am in pain and if he could take it away he would. I pray for myself, even though I am not a Christian and I pray for all the hurricane victims, one blew away my home when I was a child. I knew the power wind and rain can possess.
posted by The Missus Complains at 1:08 AM
3 Comments:
...or a tall liquor drink & a good cry. LOL!
Sorry, I don't want to make light of your situation (I have my own shit that I'm trying to deal with & I know it's not easy) - just trying to bring you some humor. Laughter truly is the best medicine, so post some more rants about things that are driving you up the damn wall & let us help you laugh about 'em, if nothing else.
How about starting an exercise routine (to help your energy and to improve your general well-being) and giving him a wake-up bj tomorrow morning (almost guaranteed to get your sex life jumpstarted!).
For clarification, those are two separate and distinct suggestions. :) Although the latter could lead to a great cardio workout.
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