Pack Rat
My husband loves to hold on to things. Sentimental things I can understand, you go back to them once in a while and look them over. They are precious in their own way. But what's the use to keeping things you never go back and look at. For example, as I was doing some spring cleaning, I found over 200 pages of e-mail that my husband printed out from his old love. They had a tragic romance, once they broke it off they kept clinging on to one another for 3-4 more years. It's a heart wrenching story, part of me wishes they could have worked out their differences. He even asked her to marry him but she did not answer, after what he did to her, she was a destroyed woman. Part of me want to reach out to her and contact her but I know this would be wrong.
I get glimpses of him life from all the things he's saved. Photos of his first marriage, old notes (not in English), old cards. I learn more about him from my own personal research. He keeps asking me if I can somehow prevent myself from reading everything that I come across, I said emphatically, "NO". When I see these things they make me wonder about the man he was before we met. All I end up with are questions.
"Do you still think "old love #1" is your best fit? Will you always love her, or has our love begun to heal your old wounds?"
"Do you wish "old love #1" would have taken you back then? What about now?"
"Will you do to me what you did to her?"
"Do you love me more than you loved her?"
"Have you changed for good?"
Questions, Insecurities, they come with the territory when you snoop. I know this, I accept this. I know more about my husband from his mother, his friends than from him. When I find a new piece of the puzzle, we talk about it. My knowledge grows and hopefully we grow.
I get glimpses of him life from all the things he's saved. Photos of his first marriage, old notes (not in English), old cards. I learn more about him from my own personal research. He keeps asking me if I can somehow prevent myself from reading everything that I come across, I said emphatically, "NO". When I see these things they make me wonder about the man he was before we met. All I end up with are questions.
"Do you still think "old love #1" is your best fit? Will you always love her, or has our love begun to heal your old wounds?"
"Do you wish "old love #1" would have taken you back then? What about now?"
"Will you do to me what you did to her?"
"Do you love me more than you loved her?"
"Have you changed for good?"
Questions, Insecurities, they come with the territory when you snoop. I know this, I accept this. I know more about my husband from his mother, his friends than from him. When I find a new piece of the puzzle, we talk about it. My knowledge grows and hopefully we grow.
posted by The Missus Complains at 2:17 AM
3 Comments:
Girrrrrrl! Stop that snooping! LOL And make him throw that crap away!
Both of those things only focuses on the past. Get outta that & just concentrate on HIS & YOUR present.
We all have things from the past we hold onto; they are part of our lives. But they don't necessarily mean the same any more.
I agree with Lil Bit. It will only lead to more insecurities and frustration - for you. It probably means a distant memory for him.
As long as he loves ME, he can keep any ol' photo and letter.
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