What can you tolerate?

WARNING: This post is a bit gross but funny too...

I wonder after living with someone for months, years or even decades, what are some things you learn to tolerate and what are things that will get on your nerves forever more.

Here's my list:

Things I tolerate:

1. He leaves the seat up on the toilet.
2. When I use this comb or brush he takes the hair out of it and throws it in my sink, (we have 2 sinks in the bathroom.)
3. On occasion he will use my toothbrush.
4. He's been really gassy lately, new diet I guess.
5. His feet are not gorgeous, the words Hobbit, athlete's foot and stinky come to mind.
6. He wears a ton of cologne and it can be stifling.
7. He is a messy eater.
8. He tracks in dirt and crap from the street every other day.
9. He leaves windows open when the heat is on.
10. Once in a while he takes the change that I leave on the dresser.

Things I cannot stand:
1. He leaves dirty dishes all in this office and I have to put them in the dishwasher.
2. His smoking.
3. He does not do a courtesy flush.
4. He does not practice the art of courtesy toilet scrubbing.
5. He leaves clothes on my side of the bedroom aka my side of the bed.
6. He snores.
7. He'll watch a TV program and then go to his office leaving the TV on and the volume on full blast.
8. He only drinks carbonated water. So I always have to buy it special.
9. He has hair growing out of his ears that he does not readily let my pluck.
10. He refuses to finish one book at a time, all the while leaving half read books all over the house.

Do you have a list?

Conception Sex

Let's face it conception sex really sucks! It's boring and a whole lot of work.

A bit of history:

After being married for 6 months, we have decided to try for a child. My husband says he is a baby making machine and for me not to worry, I will get pregnant. How do we know he is a baby making machine, he once got a girlfriend pregnant that was using an IUD for birth control. Three months later nothing. I am attributing the unsuccessful attempts to the fact that my body is still normalizing after getting off the Pill, which I have taken for over 10 years.

This month however, I aim to succeed. We purchased some ovulation kits, followed the directions to the "T" and now are sitting back and waiting. The sex was laborious and not too fun, it was more like a job, which took the enjoyment out of it.

"Honey, the pee stick says we have to do it tonight and the next 4 days in a row." says the Missus.

"Okay."

"Can you come to bed at around midnight, I don't want to do it after I've fallen fast asleep." asks the Missus.

"Okay."

"When are you coming to bed?" asks the Missus.

"Soon."

"Okay, good night." says the Missus.

Not very passionate and exciting is it. Well, it's conception sex what did you expect.

All Ends Well

We are getting along better this week. This past weekend I was feeling neglected and bored. He was a bit under the weather and tired from the week's activities. I tried to engage him but he was not interested. We crossed paths all Saturday long until I was at my wits end. When he does not respond to me, I often take stabs at him to get some kind of reaction. This time it had the effect I wanted. He stopped what he was doing, all 7 hours of it and paid attention to "us". We make plans for dinner and went out. The night was just what the doctor ordered. He commented that I still seemed grumpy and yes I was, I don't take kindly to being ignored for the better part of the day. Still we ended up having a nice time and everything ended quite well.

Back in the Saddle

The "man" is back and once again there is someone to warm the bed beside me. I thought I even missed his snoring while he was away. When I heard that familiar chortle and drone, I realized I did not. I did however miss having someone in the house with me. Being alone was never my forte and the day after he left I felt myself experiencing a bit of anxiety. That week I ate alone, slept alone and stayed up late because I dreaded an empty bed. Living solo is not my cup of tea.

While he was gone I distracted myself to make time march forward a bit less noticeably. I cleaned the house throughly, dusted, swept, mopped, vacuumed. I wrote letters, composed e-mails and organized everything...I dealt better with the alone time than I thought I would, except I did make one call to the crisis hotline. It was on the night he went away, I thought I was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to calm me down. After the chat, they had to go b/c someone else needed attention. It helped a bit, mostly I felt silly for having called. After a good cry, I fell into a fitful but long sleep.